Challenging Fears – This Was Scary:
Posted on 24. Jul, 2009 by Per Bristow in Performance, Singing
I can't believe I did this. It's crazy really. It's the ultimate fear for some and extremely fun for others. I also wanted to make this video to make a bigger point. Check it out for yourself:
So what was the point of this video? Let's look at a couple of important issues:
1) Become aware. There is no way we are going to overcome fears unless we become aware of them. Unfortunately, we tend to avoid that four letter word and instead cleverly disguise it with more pleasant sounding words. So what is one of the most important keys to grow, develop and succeed?
Yes, the magic key is awareness. As you may know, much of my teaching is about developing greater awareness of body and mind. When you become aware it is far easier to do something about it, and therefore improve significantly.
2) Just do it. When you are facing something uncomfortable, realize that "just do it" is a very good piece of advice. It's more than a cute marketing slogan for sports shoes.
3) What happens when you "just do it"? When you are afraid, your body will tense up. Your breathing becomes shallow. The whole body goes into a fight or flight state of emergency. Your mind races, anticipating the future. (Fear is always about a perceived future). Most people will exit the situation without a clue of what actually happened in their body.
For many this is going on daily, although on a more subtle level. And every day these subconscious fears are holding you back.
As I was heading up the tower, my goal was to be aware of the fear. As I noticed it, I was immediately able to relax my body. Many times during the ascent I tensed up, but since I was aware I was again able to relax.
Realize though that there is no way you are going to be able to relax if you don't know what relaxation feels like. If you don’t know how to put your body in a resourceful state when you aren’t under stress, how are you going to do it under stress?
If, for example, you are not able to relax muscles in a comfortable range when you sing, how do you think you are going to be able to relax on high notes? If you are not able to release a free, powerful, confident sound when you practice, how do you think you will be able to do it during performance?
This is why you want to develop an extraordinary awareness during practice. As you do, you develop rapidly. You learn to coach yourself to perform well under any pressured circumstance.
Also realize that greater awareness of self leads to greater awareness of others – i.e. you become a better performer.
4) Challenge yourself. Remember that it is always easier to NOT do something than to do.
P.S. I later went on the smaller free fall that I showed you earlier in the video. This time I was able to relax even better (everything is easier the second time, isn't it?). Frankly, I felt so relaxed that I thoroughly enjoyed the view and experienced no fear at all. It was quite phenomenal. I am so glad I did it.
So go ahead. Challenge yourself! Take action! Do it! Then share your experience below.
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Maffey
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per, it was so nice experience of yours, where’s is that? That’s basically amazing and I’m afraid I can’t do that esp the descending part….
Barbara Holmes
29. Jul, 2009
Per, as far as doing things you fear, when you turn and face your fears you take control of the situation. It is then that the people or situations you confront lose their power to frighten you as they did.
Your persuasive and gentle way of leading us to that conclusion is a good way to teach a lesson.
Praveen
29. Jul, 2009
Thank you for this video Per. You really are a great teacher
This goes back to the post I made recently on the members forum having to do with singing infront of others. I know that it is a fear! Now I just gotta do the “just do it” part
Jim Harkins
29. Jul, 2009
Per,
Your freefall analogy to facing one’s fear is well taken. Thank you for sharing it with your online students.
I feel like I’m getting so much out of your course materials, as well as the ‘let it go’ attitude you profess. Who’d ever think that after 6 weeks of using the techniques espounded upon in Lesson 3 I’d add 2 half-tones to my range – f and f# above middle c.
Regards,
Jim Harkins
Sylvie Boisel
29. Jul, 2009
Thanks for the sharing.
Well, I agree to go over fears but I will not go over my fear to go to this kind of stuff. You didn’t seem so afraid???
I mean what is the point to try to go over all your fears, not for this kind of manege anyway, ahahahah
Singing in front of 1400 people is much more easier for me that to do what you have done. Even the thought to do it, I feel already trembling
Then Bravo.
Sylvie Boisel
Julie Cheeseman
29. Jul, 2009
Kiaora
I am a singing teacher, and I am loving your approach. I have the same philosophy as you re singing being natural, and I can now be more effective, thankyou.
With regards to facing a fear, yes it is good as long as you CAN relax, but not a good idea to push yourself through something if you are still afraid. Have you investigated Emotional Freedom Technique which is a very interesting way of effectively dealing with fears (basically you become relaxed about it)
It involves a few seconds of tapping on the body with fingertips, thus straightening out the jangled energy. My students do it at the start of every singing lesson.
If you want to know more go to emofree.com or contact me as I am an experienced practitioner and can simplify it for you.
Julie
Laurie
29. Jul, 2009
Wow! Just EXACTLY what I needed to see/hear today!!! I’ve been stuck in F.E.A.R. all week! Thank you PER! You really are a super teacher ~
Laurie S.
Heidi
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per
Thanks for sharing with us on during your holiday time! I am also on holiday…in Ireland at the moment. Prior to making our way here we went to visit a daughter in Brighton and I (who hates nearly all fair ground rides) was persuaded to go on the waltzer with my daughter. It started off fun but went on for such a long time and got faster and faster until I really felt physically sick by the end of it. It confirmed that indeed these rides don’t agree with my stomach but despite that I am glad I had a go and know from first hand experience. It is always better to try and fail than not to try at all they say and I couldn’t agree more. Live would be boring if we let every worry hold us back.
I was raised attending the Salvation Army and once learned a poem to recite at Youth Council….it was called DO YOU WORRY OVER THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN? Can’t remember it all now but started off something like this….
Do you worry over things that never happen?
Do you run to meet your sorrows by the way?
Do you miss the joys of life by constant moping..
O’er tomorrow while all is well today.
Don’t do it…it will bring you pain and suffering
Your fears will weigh you down and make you sad
Don’t run to meet the troubles of tomorrow
Just smile and sing and that will make you glad.
Maybe it sounds a little sugary these days but it is something I memorised over about 40 years ago and it stays with me and helps me whenever I am tending to fret over things.
Sorry to have woffled on so long.
Thanks again….Hope you have a great summer too.
Carola
29. Jul, 2009
This is very inspiring!!! Thank you so much, Per!
Colleen Elizabeth
29. Jul, 2009
Wow- thats quite a way to make a point! Well done! Very impressive.
malin
29. Jul, 2009
Hi! I live in stockholm myself, and I´ve been to gröna lund several times. I´ve also went on “fritt fall” or “free fall” several times. It´s quite scary but also fun. It´s when you go up your the most scared, when you wait for it to go down. Your brave that dared to do that!
Loie
29. Jul, 2009
I’ve been on a similar ride but not so high as that and I found, guess what, if you scream for all your worth it raises your diaphragm and stops that awful painful feeling. Everyone around me on fairground rides think I scream now because I’m scared. Well, maybe I am but I scream on rides because it physically makes the ride bearable and fun. So, using your voice can quite literally get you through anything.
David Brocklehurst
29. Jul, 2009
This guy is a windbag and a bore and completely in love with himself and his platitudes. If he can take 200 words to say something when it only needs 20 words he will take the full 200.
Peter
29. Jul, 2009
A good teacher always looks for an opportunity to convey a message or teach a lesson. Thanks for using your holiday to keep us informed. I guess we all have our issues. I love scary rides, as a matter of fact, the scarier the better. However, lately the thought of getting up in front of people again has really paralyzed me. I’m going to have to take this and run with it. Enjoy the the rest of your holiday. Peter
san
29. Jul, 2009
Hi,
Poing well made.
Matt Claus
29. Jul, 2009
Per, I too ahve a very real fear of heigts, so I know how hard it is to do what you did. In fact, we have a similar ride at our local amusement park and i have not yet been able to ride it. I like how you correlated it to singing. I have had fear performing in front of people, but it is nothing compared to my fear of that ride. Conquering fear always makes you a more confident person. Even if you conquer a fear in one aspect of your life, it will help you get over other fears you have. Thanks for pointing this out and with this video, I think you have helped people not only with singing, but their lives as well. Thanks from all of us, Matt
Gary Voorhees
29. Jul, 2009
I’m older than you and I still learn something every time I visit your site. Who’d of thought.
You have a great way of teaching much more than making music. Thanks
Metje Butler
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per…I get giddy riding on a carpet down a slope ! that’s enough for me. But I know about fears and those I have, and I know fears can tighten the voice. But interestingly, singing to create a 2nd part or to teach a tune is no problem, even though soloing can be.
I sing in the car to a CD accompaniment because I’m shy someone might hear me in my home ! Isn’t that silly ?! Still, I love to sing and do. But I could probably do better. When I have more time free, I will probably connect with you.
Do you and your family sing together ? It’s a great enrichment to do that.
Wendy James
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per , thankyou for thinking of your students on your family vacation ,I commend your effots of feel the fear and do it anyway , ! Im still trying to overcome the tension and holding when I sing , even in practise , but Im a great believer in success depends on where intention lies , so if your intent is honourable , to strive to grow and change ,and to do so with non judgement and self criticisim then I guess you cant fail , however Im finding the road long and winding and dreaming of a free and powerful voice with quaity at the end of the rainbow , see you in August , Warmest Regards Wendy James Australia .
Carl
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per,
hope you enjoyed your holiday. very well done for facing your fear, we all have them and the key is not to let them rule our lives.
on the singing front, when i recently started singing, i sang bits of songs when out and about doing verious thing with friends and familly, which was scarry at first but then something magical happened and i started to relax some.
now, i dont think about it too much and can sing in front of almost anyone without worrying too much.
keep up the good work, missed your e-mails.
P.S. i once was mailed a video of you singing which was helpful, can you do a couple more to show off your talent.