Challenging Fears – This Was Scary:
Posted on 24. Jul, 2009 by Per Bristow in Performance, Singing
I can't believe I did this. It's crazy really. It's the ultimate fear for some and extremely fun for others. I also wanted to make this video to make a bigger point. Check it out for yourself:
So what was the point of this video? Let's look at a couple of important issues:
1) Become aware. There is no way we are going to overcome fears unless we become aware of them. Unfortunately, we tend to avoid that four letter word and instead cleverly disguise it with more pleasant sounding words. So what is one of the most important keys to grow, develop and succeed?
Yes, the magic key is awareness. As you may know, much of my teaching is about developing greater awareness of body and mind. When you become aware it is far easier to do something about it, and therefore improve significantly.
2) Just do it. When you are facing something uncomfortable, realize that "just do it" is a very good piece of advice. It's more than a cute marketing slogan for sports shoes.
3) What happens when you "just do it"? When you are afraid, your body will tense up. Your breathing becomes shallow. The whole body goes into a fight or flight state of emergency. Your mind races, anticipating the future. (Fear is always about a perceived future). Most people will exit the situation without a clue of what actually happened in their body.
For many this is going on daily, although on a more subtle level. And every day these subconscious fears are holding you back.
As I was heading up the tower, my goal was to be aware of the fear. As I noticed it, I was immediately able to relax my body. Many times during the ascent I tensed up, but since I was aware I was again able to relax.
Realize though that there is no way you are going to be able to relax if you don't know what relaxation feels like. If you don’t know how to put your body in a resourceful state when you aren’t under stress, how are you going to do it under stress?
If, for example, you are not able to relax muscles in a comfortable range when you sing, how do you think you are going to be able to relax on high notes? If you are not able to release a free, powerful, confident sound when you practice, how do you think you will be able to do it during performance?
This is why you want to develop an extraordinary awareness during practice. As you do, you develop rapidly. You learn to coach yourself to perform well under any pressured circumstance.
Also realize that greater awareness of self leads to greater awareness of others – i.e. you become a better performer.
4) Challenge yourself. Remember that it is always easier to NOT do something than to do.
P.S. I later went on the smaller free fall that I showed you earlier in the video. This time I was able to relax even better (everything is easier the second time, isn't it?). Frankly, I felt so relaxed that I thoroughly enjoyed the view and experienced no fear at all. It was quite phenomenal. I am so glad I did it.
So go ahead. Challenge yourself! Take action! Do it! Then share your experience below.
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Praveen
10. Aug, 2009
Hey Ditas,
I can understand exactly what you’re talking about the culturing of the speaking voice. I think how I sound when I sing is much closer to my natural voice (especially now thanks to Per) because of the relaxing of muscles and the sense of freeness. I think I sound totally different when I talk. When I talk, things are alot more tighter and stuff and that is because of other problems I have that I am hopefully dealing with.
But ya, I hear people commenting on singers and sometimes they say things like “she modified her voice to sing”, “makes her voice sound different” etc. The singer relaxes their muscles to get that freeness that allows the music to flow through. They are not necessarily trying to make themselves sound a certain way!
Joy Agorh
10. Aug, 2009
I can’t believe you did that, It was amazing video to watch. sometime we need to challenge our fears to be on the top.
Just exactly what I did with my vioce, Per you are the best I have not seen somethings like your way of training before, thank you so much, thank God I found you in google. My voice obeys me now beacuse I know the rules, I can now sing with freedom, I love you Per. God Bless.
Ditas
10. Aug, 2009
I watched the video but forgot about the blog until today. Still, better late than never.
I’m discovering that my greatest fear in singing is having to deal with people who have different expectations about how they think I should sound and start criticizing me based on that. It feels like they are listening for how I’ll fail them rather than how I can touch them, and lately, with my ever-supportive husband’s encouragement, I’m learning to not let them affect me.
My speaking voice is quite deep, but that’s because I had to learn how to sound like that when I worked as a DJ. So when they hear my light, soaring soprano, they tell me it’s not my voice. When i explain that it’s the speaking voice that’s “cultured” they can’t believe it and won’t accept it and so continue to tell me I should sound deep and jazzy when I sing. I can — provided the song’s range is low enough.
Ive never been afraid of notes. I’ve been afraid of rejection by people I consider authorities, but as I think back now, I realize that the true authorities (my teachers from conservatory) have always been on my case for being AFRAID TO PERFORM, and now that I’m actually performing, they’re happy for me. And the person whose comments have been discouraging is really someone who doesn’t know much about me. She only knows that I don’t sing the way she believes I should sing. And being the brat that I am, now that I realize this, I couldn’t care less.
And last night, I sang out and I didn’t ask her after what she thought. And I felt my voice do things I haven’t done in a long time! ^_^
Jasna Pecaric
09. Aug, 2009
Dear Per,
your creative mind is a pleasure to be around.
Even though i am not scarred of heights, that demonstration connected me with my fear of singing, for sure. Your efforts that showed to slow down and feel the fear and be aware rather than go numb or/and unconscious hit bulls eye for me.
I am off now to challenge myself….and go on slow mo and see if i can match the force of fear with a breath of awareness.
Ciao and mille grazie
Sarah
08. Aug, 2009
Hi Per
Facing fear is a great topic. I have been performing and singing all my life, and I still get bouts of fear before going on stage, sometimes to the point of feeling ill and wanting to back out. But I always go thru with it and feel great for following thru. I’ve found that the fear is often excitement in disguise, giving me an energy boost that creates a better performance. Now I look for the fear and dive in head first whenever i have the opportunity.
Sarah
Adam Kaczanowski
06. Aug, 2009
Man that looked scary!!!!
Im not one for scary rides,though i like the ghost train and the fairess wheel.
Im feeling more confident in myself and just finished singing for the childrens 1st Holy Communions at church as the church Cantor.
Facing the fear of singing as the church Cantor each sunday is helping with my fears.
Ive also found a teacher whom im having 5 intensive lessons with he was a performer in europe in alot of the major productions like ‘Cats” etc,he and his wife teach a method call the ‘Estil voice method” and he regards his training as the “voice gym”.ive only had 1 lesson so far and seems good.
Im up to my 4th dvd of your 4 dvd set per,its been gr8!!! thanks so much.
Ive got my com petition coming up on 30th of August and the Aria night on the 3rd of September.
IT called the 54th Annual Eisteddford.
Im singing ‘some Enchanted evening’ from South
Pacific.’This nearly was mine’ from South pacific.and ‘Panis Angelicus’ on the 30 of Aug.
And Handels ‘Frondi tenere’,'Ombra mai fu’ on the
3rd of september.
Take care Per and ‘Happy birthday’ to yr little
boy.Enjoy yr holiday Per.Godbless you and family
and all Members.
xo Adam.
Elisheva
03. Aug, 2009
Thanks
Eliseva
03. Aug, 2009
Personally, I thoughtyou wer nts while I was atching the video. Then I rememered a day not so long ago at waterpark where there was this waterslide that went at a really steep angle and I felt like I was gonna have a heart atack while I was up there the first time, but I enjoyed it so much that I went up again. This is common for me. I am afraid of hights and always have been. But there was a time that I was really afraid to make this climb up to the waterslide the first time, but I loved it so much that I didn’ notice it the other fifteen times i went up. I guess you’re right. You just have to know that you’re afraid and then let it go.
Wendy Percy
01. Aug, 2009
Thank you for the work you do in helping people. I was interested in your work of teaching us how to sing better and develop our voices. I am 70 yrs old and have sung all my life, but not well. I’m OK in groups and choirs and still am in a choir. I would like to purchase some of your DVDs but don’t trust the Internet to pay for them. As I live in Australia I don’t know if there is some other way I could get them. If you suggest something I would be pleased to hear from you. Many thanks.
Wendy
Lisa
01. Aug, 2009
good on you Per.
I enjoyed the flight to the top and didn’t fight the fear.
Praveen
31. Jul, 2009
happy to hear your success Peter Warburton! keep it up!
Geoff Wilson
30. Jul, 2009
Hi Per:
No, not for me going up that high. I’m a 65 year old bass and know better than to over reach myself.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I may send you an audio tape so you can judge for yourself if I need to get any higher.
Regards from Australia
Geoff
Lucky
30. Jul, 2009
Dear P,
It was nice to see you again, I am writing to thank you for your letter and video .In our day,
I like who called a spade a spade.
tks again,I hope we can sing soon…
Kindest regards to you and your family.
Lucky V
Peter Warburton
30. Jul, 2009
Dear Per,
I watched your video of “the drop”. I went on the one in Disneyworld, “Tower of Terror” with all the same fear. I was sort of glad i did it, but i feel I could lived with out it, but it was sort of fun.
I have now recently started playing my guitar and singing “out” and on stage. I have been physically prepared for a while, however i have not been mentally relaxed enough to go do it. Even though i really wanted to, I kept chickening out.
As you know i bought my first guitar 3 years ago at age 49. I am a self taught rythym guitarist as well as , with your help via your “Sing with Freedom” DVD’s I bought from you, a self taught singer to date.
Last year I started getting some positive feed back about my playing and singing. i HAD BEEN RECORDING SOME MUSIC ON MY HOME DIGITAL RECORDING STUDIO(oops caps)and giving them to friends and family, who have been responding favorably.
Four Thursdays ago today, i finally faced my biggest fear to date, telling my self “it’s time to get up on stage and play and sing some song’s you’ve been working on”. So I went down to a local pub here where they have “open mic night” on Thursdays and i did it. I got up and i sang three songs. I did ok, i was pretty nervous and blew the last couple lines of the last verse of the last song, had a minor panic attack and finished up. But no harm no foul. all was good.
The next week i went back feeling totally relaxed on stage and i sang and played six songs all pretty well, with minor screw ups that probabluy only I noticed, a late chord change and or etc.
Other than that it went really weel. the next Thursday I wenty back and played 5 songs all went well and i was pretty comfortable. Last Tuesday i asked to guest appear at a friends regular gig in the same place. Tonight I will go back and do open mic. I have now been asked to do a benefit concert for our local Seaman’s Church Institute here in my hometown of Newport RI on November 8, 2009 from 4 to 6 pm. 2 fifty minute sets. Thank you for helping me. Your DVDs are tremendous and i have only gotten through lessons one and half way through lesson 2, and i am now “singing with tremondous freedom” already. everything is already freer. I am comfortable, i breathe, I’m pretty relaxed and i am surprising myself with the songs i am singing that I tried to sing a year ago and could not, but now i can.
If anyone doubts that you can learn to sing, which i did for 49 years of my life. I doubted i could learn to sing and all my life i put off learning to play guitar because i thought “I don’t want to play guitar if i can’t sing”. Well playing guitar taught me to sing, I am serious when i tell you this, along with Per Bristow’s help. I m here to tell you in the words of Pete Seeger “You too can learn to sing….!”
I did not really employ Per’s help till after I started getting positive response in regard to my singing. I am very thankful i did, because since last February when i ordered “Sing With Freedom” DVDs I have improved tremendously and again, I have only completed lesson 1 and I am only half way through lesson two. I can’t tell you the difference in my life since I have begun to learn to “sing with freedom”.
I have never enjoyed anything so much in my life. I’m not quitting my day job….. yet…… but……………one never can tell. Stay tuned to the radio, you never know who you might hear someday.
Sincerely,
Peter L. Warburton, folksinger, song writer, balladeere,
Foggy Breeze Music Co.
Bowen’s Wharf,
Newport RI
I cover my own material as well as John R. Cash, Bob Dylan, Gordon Lightfoot, Marty Robbins, George Jones, Kris Kristofferson and more.
Eric Mathiasson
30. Jul, 2009
Per!
Intressant video, verkligen!
Själv så lyckades mina vänner tvinga mig att åka “Fritt fall” och det var en upplevelse kan man säga!
För mig var det så att jag inte riktigt kom över min rädsla, utan var ganska rädd hela vägen upp, men sedan när det hela var över så kändes det ganska OK, så senare på kvällen åkte jag en gång till helt frivilligt!
Hoppas du får en bra semester!
/Eric
E.R.
30. Jul, 2009
Way to go Per,it is a very good feeling to be free of scary singing fears.
One day one of my music keyboard player was very helpful to me on getting over my stage fears by bringing me on a wild roller-coaster ride with him. That ride was so scary that i never needed to go back on any roller-coaster rides ever again. After that i was able to sing on stage without feeling scared and i was able to sing without forgetting the song words. I am L.O.L. now just thinking about it. We should always try our best not to feel so scared when singing on stage,and try not to feel so scared of doing a good Job…all the time.
All the best to you Per!!
Deborah Mulka
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per,
I love the fact that you acknowledge fear and that we all have it. It has been hard for me to speak and sing in front of people. I have chosen to “Just do it” when I get in that situation. I make myself talk, sing, be in front of people at every chance I get. Does the fear go away? No, but it is manageable. Sunday, my group sang for a showcase. My song was first. I was so nervous, I thought my performance was going to suffer. As it turned out all was good and we are being considered for a major job next year!
Being aware of your fear and how to overcome it is not easy. Getting yourself out there, out of your comfort zone and doing what you love to do each and every time you have the opportunity helps us learn how to deal with your fear. Usually, after the first song or idea, you are on your way to a great performance and having fun.
Thank you, Per, for helping us recognize our fears and how we may be able to overcome them.
Evie
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per,
I even felt tense watching you go up there! Top marks for doing the exercise and thank you for sharing it with us. We have watched all 4 of the Sing with Freedom dvd’s now and I am pleased to say we have improved no end, we started out going for lessons locally but we were not getting much out of it so left after the first term, when we bought your dvd’s it was the best thing we ever did your system has been the most beneficial and we watch the dvd’s on a regular basis and can’t understand why our teacher did’nt cover any of this, thank you Per
Patricia Reo
29. Jul, 2009
Hey Per..Not only are you a great teacher, but you’re a Dare Devil too…WOW!
I’d only do that ride if they let me pack a parachute.
Jenny Mills
29. Jul, 2009
Hi Per,
Thank you for your energy and generosity. I really enjoyed your video – it has inspired my day. I love singing …. anything that helps to love something. Again, thanks.