Comments on: Why Me?

By: Rey

Rey — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 02:26:21 +0000

Hoppy New Jeer! Per, let me say you are one terrific loser, I mean this in a good way. you lost but you took it way better than I would. This is my first comment post but i had to do it becouse I read about all the devotion you put into your kids life and you really wanted to win all the while theres fathers like the one that I had that never do anything with or for there kids. also you have accomplished so much in your life. Perdone mua! Your not lookin at what your kids side, the kids put the main part and you have to teach them how to deal with losing playing the game and also something thats very sensitive to them, YOU. There kids the only thing they know is mom and dad every other thought or comment doesnt have the effect to them like yours. if you enjoy the moment with them youll recive way more than just a trohpy or a championship dont get me wrong everybody aims for winning but the participation of a father in a childs life is a trophy in itself. take it from a man that cannt get the enegy to do a querter of what you described or knows how. your a terrific father. and yor not deppressed your tasting the nasty tst of defeat, if you change the way your looking at the situation you wouldnt feel like that.You could say hey son we lost this one but lets take a look at what we did wrong so we could win next time. Enjoy them while you can.

By: albert

albert — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:32:32 +0000

I agree with what Stacy said about the point you were trying to make. I’m surprised that so many of the commentors missed the comparison between the soccer game and the example you used on your blog about the girl with all the excuses—all the what if’s and why for’s. I am looking forward to hearing your response to the comments about the soccer game. Your attitude and outlook on life are an inspiration, not only in regards to singing, but to finding fulfillment in life.

By: sam

sam — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:27:48 +0000

I am sort of dissapointed in you for being depressed over losing a soccer game! If there’s anything you need to meditate about, I would hope it’s not that. If you want to set an even BETTER example for your son, I feel you should not be putting him down in any way or showing him your dissapointment. When I was little, I was an exceptional basketball player. My dad would come to every game and sit there silently, judging me. Whenever we won, he’d nod his head at me and give me a little smile, but when we’d lose he’d blow up! He would get so frusturated saying we’d worked too hard to go out there and blow it! He’d get me so stressed about sports I quit everything and pretty much kept to myself. I was never able to have a very good relationship with my father and before he died the last thing he EVER did, was look at me long and hard, frowning as if he must’ve made a mistake on me. Please don’t do this to your son.

By: Malachi

Malachi — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:28:23 +0000

Per,
Thank you for this creative singing lesson.
My professional singing career has become so depressing,
because the only things I think about when I perform are
the bad things; every mistake I make, every reason I’m not
good enough, every high note not nailed, every run failed.
None of these things I focus on help me to correct my mistakes
the next time. Infact, they only help me to feel more defeated for the next show. Your blog has totally revealed my problem.

I’ve forgotten that I love to sing.
That’s why I do this, because I love to sing.
And that’s all I should focus on, that’s all I should dwell on.
Singing and making music. If I can get back to why I love to sing,
why I love music so much, the mistakes won’t be as defeating.
Even the best soccer players lose, they just lose less.
The best soccer players are the best because they keep playing regardless of wins or losses, because they love soccer!
And somewhere inside of me, I love music, I love to sing!
That’s all that matters.

You are a great teacher, Per. Thanks.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 02:38:52 +0000

Hi there.
I’m sorry your team lost. That can be hard when you know you’ve tried your best. There’s always next year. You have to make sure you don’t keep yelling at your kid. That can really create some issues you don’t want him to experience. Be sure to resolve this with him a.s.a.p. He’s taking notes from you so also make sure you’re a gracious loser as well as a gracious winner. I was always told to lose the same way you win, and always win with a humble attitude. Your son needs to see you be okay with trying your best, or else he won’t be okay with it either. I hope you start feeling better.

By: Lou Lou

Lou Lou — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 02:36:38 +0000

Dude… It’s a soccer game…

By: Kray Van Kirk

Kray Van Kirk — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 22:12:41 +0000

I tried to come up with something funny that would match the silliness…but I couldn’t! I’m utterly defeated!

Now…wait…should I focus on having been defeated? :-p

By: Stu

Stu — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:51:36 +0000

So what’s your point? Was this a joke? Was this to try to make us feel better? That’s F’d up if true, because some of us are really going through serious family pains…

My problems FAR surpass a damn soccer team not making the play-offs (if, that is real…who knows?). But your not going to see me cry about it or whine about it on my blog (or play headgames with my readers, whatever the truth might be)!

So during the holiday when you look across the table and see the faces of your family, keep in mind that some of us might not have that blessing.

If it’s some cry for help, yes, indeed you do need it. I pray that you find it.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:01:07 +0000

I’m going to assume you’re being facetious and what’s really funny is this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Reading through that post i knew immediately the point you are making. You can think back on every variable. Every mistake that was made. Everything that was out of your control. And you have remain stuck on those things and let them alter your life. But the truth is it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is learning from your mistakes and planning appropriately for the future. As I said, this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I am a college student and this is my exam week. I have an upper level GPA of a 4.0 and I just took an exam that may have compromised that. Last night I was tossing and turning for hours thinking about it. I kept thinking how I could have done things differently on the exam. How I could have studied one chapter a little bit more. But there really is no point in doing so. Yes it is hard to get this off of my mind (especially since i wont know what my grade is for a few weeks), but I have to realize that all I can do is resolve to study harder and work more diligently in the future.

By: Niamh

Niamh — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:36:56 +0000

Per,

I want to congratulate you. Judging by what you’re saying, you have a fantastic team of devoted young players. You are their inspiration, their leader and their friend. All of you worked hard as a team in an effort to reach your goal.

I know you didn’t reach that goal. But in the beginning, what was the goal? Was it the same goal as this? Did the whole team start because you all wanted to win a big fat trophy, or some other sort of external reward?

When I started playing the piano, it wasn’t because I saw one in a shop window and thought, “Wow, imagine all the prizes I’d win if I could play one of those!” Nor did I want to be better at it than anyone else for the sake of my self-esteem. I began playing for the pure love of music, and that love and enthusiasm for what I do has stuck with me ever since I made that choice.

Why did your boys start playing soccer? Was it because they thought it could make them rich and famous? Or so they could brag to their friends? And why did you start coaching them?

As far as I’m concerned, even though my first recital last August was FAR from perfect- my nerves are still terrible and I made plenty mistakes- the mere FACT that I did it, that I made my debut in the musical world and didn’t win anything or make any money, that I was living my dream… that was enough.

I didn’t spend these six years in musical training to get famous for a stunning, flawless debut. and I somehow doubt that you and the kids put all that work and co-operation into soccer just for some big shiny prize at the end of one tournament. It’s the personal acheivement that counts.
And hey- the time when one goal looses its purpose is the time for another goal to form! So it’s not an end… it’s a beginning!!

Niamh